The
Story of the King
By
Jon Cudo
One
week ago I was booed by over 17,000 people.
Booed.
Jeered. And Heckled and Mocked.
While
that response is normally not what one seeks out,
last week it was a good thing.
You
see, it’s good to be the King.
Comedian
Andy Kaufman once said: “Everyone loves a villain” when
describing his foul alter-ego Tony Clifton.
Noted
wrestling heel Rowdy Roddy Piper is eager to point
out to the more-famous Hulk Hogan that the fans wouldn’t
have loved Hulk Hogan so much if they didn’t
hate Roddy Piper more.
And
from that logic, The King of Sports was created.
The anti-mascot, whose job is to make the fans love
their mascot even more.
I
am a professional sports mascot by trade. My job
is to fill the 2-minute time out breaks that are
caused when television goes to commercial. Entertain
and distract the fans until the game starts again.
In some cases motivate the fans to get behind the
home team, get emotionally involved in the game and
most of all…. to have fun.
About
14 years ago I prowled the court as a timber wolf
in Minneapolis. Each game I performed several time
out skits and a few times a year I cast myself as
the hometown hero, fighting off some foreign and
notably “fake” mascot from the visiting
team.
When
Michael Jordan and the Bulls came to town, I may
play matador to the Chicago Bull. Inside our ratty
and implausible bull costume was friend of mine who
was paid in chicken wings and beer to dress up like
a pathetic bovine that would be outwitted by the
hometown wolf.
On
other occasions it got even more bizarre. I would
occasionally defend the home court against a pathetic
character we called “Hot Head”. We told
our fans that the character was the Miami Heat mascot.
Dressed in an abysmal foam flame head and a hand-made
jersey was my trusty assistant Jeff. Needless to
say Crunch always got the best of Hot Head and his
ilk.
One
thing always stuck out to me when we performed this
ridiculous 90-second sketches. Despite our “fake” costumes
that were sometimes made on the car ride to the arena….the
fans believed it….or wanted to.
They
really thought the Milwaukee Bucks had a mascot that
looked eerily similar to the Rudolf the Red Nosed
reindeer costume with black electrical tape on the
nose you could rent for $40 at Teener’s costume
shop 3 blocks from the Target Center arena.
They
really seemed to believe that The Phoenix Suns Gorilla
and Hugo the Hornet all came to the team’s
home games and only to lose in a cartoon duel with
the local wolf character.
This
ultimately set the stage for the King. The Sacramento
King to be exact. Of the woeful Sacramento Kings,
or as they were called then the Sacrificial Things.
But
unlike his furry counterparts who were concealed
within a furry suit and head The King, of course,
was a man. A mascot who talked. A mascot who talked
trash.
While
I could have bribed another unsuspecting friend into
playing this royal rogue…I didn’t. It
sounded like way too much fun for me to pass up,
so I took the role myself. And in doing so found
the character that I most enjoy performing as….The
King.
Riding
into the arena carried high on a throne was exactly
what Andy Kaufman and Roddy Piper were talking about.
A villain. And everybody loves a villain, or loves
to hate a villain…. as the case may be.
The
King was a different kind of mascot. One who might
congratulate the local fans…. on being named
the quietest fans in the NBA. He would mock and ridicule
the local city, team, and of course the local mascot.
If the shock of hearing another mascot wasn’t
enough. The shock of hearing another mascot tell
the fans to “Shut up, cause I’m not finished
yet” certainly would.
At
the end of the night the local mascot would of course
get the best of the King, and send him packing back
home…..much to the noisy delight of those same “quiet” fans.
It’s
been about 12 years since I was first carried out
on a throne to a chorus of boos and heckles. I have
performed the show about 50 times since all around
the country for basketball, hockey and baseball teams
at all levels.
If
there is a tie that binds all sports fans it is that
they want to believe that they are the loudest, that
their team is the best, and that their mascot is
better than the rest. And like a good villain should
I am there to prove that in the end that they are
right.
One
week ago I was carried onto the court at a New Orleans
Hornets basketball game. I riled up the fans. I got
under their skin and in the end their hometown mascot
Hugo the Hornet got the best of me and sent me packing
much to the delight of the crowd of 17,000 Hornet
fans.
One
week ago I was booed by over 17,000 people. Glorious
boos that I can still hear today and look forward
to hearing again.
Everyone
loves a villain. And some of us even love being the
villain.
This story was originally
prepared as a speech for the Silicon Valley Toastmaster's
Club and performed February 12, 2003 and adapted
into an essay for Gameops.com .
Jon Cudo is a 15-year veteran
sports entertainment performer, including a 7-year
term as the NBA's Minnesota Timberwolf Crunch,
3 years as the Portland Fire's mascot Spot, as
well as freelance characters like the King
of Sports.
Cudo is also the founder
and editor of the Gameops.com.
If you are interested in
submitting a guest essay, please drop us a line
at info@gameops.com.
